


get you wild, make you leave

by liveinfury



Category: Animal Kingdom (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 10:41:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15193022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liveinfury/pseuds/liveinfury
Summary: “We should catch up when you’re free,” Adrian suggests. “Seems like I missed a lot.”Deran nods in agreement. “Yeah, sounds good.”“Well,” Adrian starts, shoving his hands in his pocket and glancing down at the ground, “I’ll let you get back to your, uh,friend.”





	get you wild, make you leave

**Author's Note:**

> title is a lyric from Liability by Lorde.

“So what time does this place close again?” Linc asks Deran, leaning over the bar and grabbing a beer for himself.

Deran gives him a pointed look and answers, “At two.”

Linc groans and leans over the bar some more. He skims his fingers down Deran’s arms. “Can’t you step away for a bit? You own the bar don’t you?”

Deran finishes making drinks for the couple waiting down the bar. “No, I can’t. And yes, I do.”

Linc grumbles some more as Deran goes over and serves the drinks to the couple. When he turns to walk back over to Linc, he sees Adrian hovering by the entrance of the bar. Deran smiles at him and nods his head in acknowledgement but Adrian gives him a tight smile and leaves.

Deran rushes over to Jen. “Keep an eye on things. I’ll be back in a sec,” he says before running out after Adrian.

“Adrian!”

Adrian comes to a stop a few stores down and waits for Deran to catch up.

“When did you get back?” Deran asks.

“Just now,” Adrian replies, looking everywhere but at Deran.

“Why’re you leaving?”

“Looked like you were busy,” Adrian says with a small smile. Deran’s known him long enough to know that it’s the one he uses when he’s uncomfortable or in pain and doesn’t want anyone to know.

Deran sighs. “Linc’s just a friend.”

Adrian holds his hands up. “It’s all good, man. You don’t have to explain anything.”

“We really are just friends,” Deran says. “I mean we’ve hooked up but it’s not like. It’s not a thing, you know?”

“Sure.”

“So, uh, how was Europe? How’d it go?”

“You didn’t watch?” Adrian asks with a pinched look on his face.

Deran shrugs. “I didn’t really get a chance. I was kinda busy with the bar and planning jobs and stuff,” he explains. While that’s technically true, he was busy the past few weeks, the real reason he skipped over streaming Adrian’s competitions was because he knew it would make him miss him more. That and he’d impusively buy a plane ticket and get his ass to wherever Adrian was. 

“What happened now?” Adrian asks. “Everyone okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Everyone’s fine, there’s just a lot of tension and oh shit the biggest thing I guess is that, uh, my dad’s here now. So there’s that too.”

“You’re dad?”

“He’s kind of a dick. I haven’t really gotten to know him yet but…” Deran trails off, shrugging.

“We should catch up when you’re free,” Adrian suggests. “Seems like I missed a lot.”

Deran nods in agreement. “Yeah, sounds good.”

“Well,” Adrian starts, shoving his hands in his pocket and glancing down at the ground, “I’ll let you get back to your, uh, _friend_.”

Deran winces at his tone but doesn’t say anything as Adrian walks away. He knows he should try to smooth things over with him but there’s no point when Deran doesn’t even know what he wants.

He’s never felt this way for anyone before and it’s overwhelming. No matter how many guys Deran sleeps with, none of them compare to Adrian. He assumes Adrian wants something more out of what they have. They can only stay fuck buddies for so long, but Deran doesn’t know if he can give him that. Being associated with his family is dangerous and if their enemies realized Adrian was someone that meant a lot to Deran, then his safety would be in jeopardy.

***

“No shit? He showed up just like that?” Adrian asks. “All ‘Hey, I’m your dad?’”

“I swear. And he looks nothing like me. I wouldn’t have believed him if Pope wasn’t there to confirm it,” Deran says.

“Do you guys hang out or anything?” Adrian asks, taking a sip of his drink before going back to devouring the sandwich Deran made for him.

It’s been a few days since Adrian’s come back to California and he stopped by Deran’s bar for lunch and to catch up. After Adrian updated Deran on the surf competition, Deran began filling him in on what he’s missed with the Cody’s.

“Sometimes.” Deran shrugs. “He comes and goes.”

“Does he know that…”

“That I’m gay?” Deran asks. “Yeah, I told him when he started giving me advice about girls.”

Adrian laughs at that. “How’d he take it?”

“Didn’t even blink,” Deran says, smiling. “Not that I give a shit what he thinks, but it kinda puts things into perspective.”

“And how’s that?”

“I spent so long hiding that part of me that when I stopped, it turned out I was doing it for no reason at all. My brothers don’t care, my friends don’t care, even my estranged father doesn’t give a fuck,” Deran explains.

Adrian smiles at him. “Feels good, huh?”

Deran nods and they eat in silence for a little longer.

“I miss your hair,” Adrian eventually says.

Deran looks up at him and runs a hand through his hair. “You like it better long?”

“It’s easier to pull,” Adrian answers with a wink.

Deran blushes, a one in a lifetime sight, and licks his lips.

“You have some time?” Adrian asks, stacking his empty dish on top of Deran’s.

“Nah, I have to meet Pope for something,” Deran says.

“Something?” Adrian asks, quirking an eyebrow.

“What you don’t know, won’t hurt you,” Deran answers.

Adrian puts the dishes in the sink and turns to face him. “Don’t know if that’s necessarily true all the time.”

Deran looks away with a guilty face and gets up to wipe the counter down.

“What about later tonight?” Adrian asks. It’s been a while since they’ve hooked up and he misses it.

“I can’t leave the bar.”

“You close at two, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So what about after? I can stop by and help you clean up too if you need me.”

Deran shakes his head. “Nah, I can’t. I’m always so exhausted then.”

“Tomorrow?” Adrian asks, trying not to sound desperate.

“I’m going surfing with Craig and Linc,” Deran answers, discarding the dish towel in the sink.

“Alright, well let me know when you’re free,” Adrian says, trying not to let the hurt show on his face. “I’m around.”

Deran doesn’t answer. He walks over to the bar and pulls out a clipboard, probably to take inventory.

Adrian leaves him to it and heads home, trying not to think about how Deran didn’t invite him to tag along on his surf tomorrow.

***

Adrian goes to classes once the next semester starts. He’s aiming for a business degree and hopes to own his own board shop in the near future. 

He sees Deran now and then, but days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months and they still haven’t hooked up since before he left for Europe. When they hang out, things aren’t the same as they used to be. It’s like they’re walking on eggshells now, both afraid to say something that might upset the other.

Adrian’s flirted with him a few times but after it was clear Deran had no real intention to have sex with him again, he’s kept conversations between them PG. Usually, Adrian’s pretty straightforward with Deran, always quick to call his bullshit, but he doesn’t want to confront him about how things are between them because he’s scared he won’t like what Deran has to say. 

The main thing that keeps Adrian’s mouth shut is Linc. He’s been around for months now which is way longer than any other casual hook up of Deran’s. Even though Deran claims they’re friends, Adrian isn’t entirely convinced.

He’s proven right when he stops by the bar one morning to see if Deran’s up for surfing. When he knocks on the main door, Jen, the bar manager, opens it for him.

“Hey,” Jen greets him.

“Deran around?”

Jen tilts her head in the direction of Deran’s room. “Should be in there,” she says as she gathers up a few empty boxes and make her way over to the back door. “I’m gonna throw these out and run to the store, we’re out of limes. Can you let Deran know if he asks?”

“Yeah, sure,” Adrian replies. He makes his way over to Deran’s room and knocks on his door.

“Fuck off,” he hears from inside.

“Uh, it’s me,” Adrian says. “Adrian.”

He hears muffled voices coming from inside and a few minutes later, Deran opens the door dressed only in boxers. “Hey, did you need something?” He’s panting and a layer of sweat is dripping down his chest.

Adrian lets his eyes wander and linger on all the exposed parts of Deran’s body. He hasn’t seen this much of him in months and he’s drooling for a taste. 

“Adrian?”

“Oh, uh no. I just-I remembered you said last week you hadn’t gone surfing in a while, well at least not in the morning so I thought I’d swing by and-”

Adrian gets interrupted by Linc pulling open Deran’s door some more and revealing himself. He’s also in just underwear and dripping sweat. “Did someone say surf?” he asks with a smile. “I’m down.”

It takes Adrian an embarrassingly long time to understand what’s going on. “I-um, yeah. The waves look good out there. You guys are free to join me,” he says, wanting to hurl at his own words.

“I think we’re gonna pass,” Deran says. Linc goes to protest but he’s shoved out of the doorway by Deran and he disappears further into the room.

“Sorry I interrupted you guys,” Adrian says sheepishly. His stomach is tangled up in knots and now he can’t stop picturing Deran and Linc together, can’t stop imagining what was going on before he knocked.

“It’s cool. It’s not really like that,” Deran says.

“So you keep saying,” Adrian says. “You know, you never really let anyone stay the night. He must be important to you.”

Deran stares at him with anguish in his eyes but doesn’t say anything back.

“Well, I should let you get back to him. I’ll see you around,” Adrian says with what he hopes looks like a genuine smile. He turns and practically sprints out of the bar.

He feels like a fucking idiot. He’s realizing that for the first time in Deran’s life, he’s confident in his sexuality. Deran has no trouble finding guys to be with so of course, of course, he doesn’t want Adrian anymore. He has his pick of hundreds of men in town so why would he go back to Adrian? 

He can’t believe it’s taken him so long to see this. He has to come to terms with the fact that he was just convenient for Deran while he was in the closet. Adrian was a close friend who would never out him to anyone, someone he could trust and have some fun with.

It fucking blows to know that the guy who’s no doubt the love of your life barely even thinks of you, let alone feels the same way. 

***

When Adrian gets to the beach, he spots Craig suiting up and makes his way over.

“Hey, man,” Adrian greets him.

“Adrian!” Craig practically shouts. “It’s been a while.”

“I guess.”

Adrian sticks his board in the sand and zips up his own suit. The last time he saw Craig was probably at Deran’s bar a few weeks ago. There used to be a time where he would see the Cody’s almost on a weekly- sometimes even a nightly- basis, but that’s probably a spot now reserved for Linc.

They make they’re way out into the ocean and get a couple of good rides. Craig tells him about his girl in between waves and how everyone’s doing and Adrian fills him in about what it’s like going back to school.

“So do you and Deran, like, not hang out anymore or something?” Craig asks as they make their way back to shore.

“We do, but it’s not like it was before,” Adrian answers. “I think he’s got Linc for that now.”

Craig looks over at him but doesn’t say anything.

“They’re a thing, right?” Adrian asks, trying to sound casual.

“Deran never really talks about that stuff to me,” Craig answers. “For all I knew, you and him were still together.”

Adrian laughs at that. “Nah, there’s nothing between us. Even back before he came out, I think I was just convenient for him.”

Craig looks at him with pity but Adrian puts a stop to that immediately. “I don’t mind,” he says. “I’m just glad that he trusted me and I could’ve been there for him. He’s got someone now and I’m just happy for him, you know?”

“I guess, but I don’t think that’s how he felt about you,” Craig says, hand hovering over his eyes, shielding them from the sun.

Adrian shrugs. “Doesn’t matter,” he mumbles. “It’s all good.”

***

Deran just had a quick meeting with his brothers and J about a potential job and he decides to hang back and stay at the house. He’s lounging by the pool and drinking a beer when Craig plops down on the lounge chair beside him.

“What?” Deran asks, head tilted towards the sun and eyes closed tight.

“I didn’t say anything,” Craig responds.

“No, but you want to.”

“How do you know?”

“You’re giving off a weird vibe.”

“Vibe?”

“The fuck do you want?” Deran asks again.

Craig sighs and shifts around in his chair. “Nothin’ really. Are you seeing anyone? Linc?”

Deran sits up and rubs his face with his hands. “No, I’m not,” he growls.

“Chill, I was just asking.” Craig runs a hand through his hair and takes a swig of his own beer.

“Why?” Deran asks.

“I ran into Adrian at the beach the other day and he was asking if you and Linc were a thing. It got me thinking, you never really tell me shit about what’s going on with you.”

“Because it’s none of your business,” Deran answers. “And why the fuck is Adrian asking you that?”

“Probably cause you’d bite his head off if he asked you,” Craig suggests.

“Well, it’s none of his business either.”

Craig laughs. “Uh, yeah. He made that pretty clear.”

“What do you mean?” Deran asks, irked by the whole conversation. Not only is he pissed that Adrian went to Craig instead of him, but he’s also annoyed that Adrian doesn’t seem to believe him when he keeps saying he’s not seeing Linc.

“He said something about knowing he was only convenient for you when you were in the closet,” Craig says, taking another sip.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Deran asks, standing up.

Craig just shrugs in reply and leans back on the chair, spreading his legs out. “Ask him.”

Deran grabs his shirt off the back of the chair and his phone and keys from the table and stomps out of the backyard.

He’s gotta open the bar soon so he doesn’t have time to track Adrian down. Even if he did, what would he say? It’s not like anything’s changed in the last few months. He still doesn’t want to risk getting Adrian hurt or in trouble. The less time he spends with him, the better.

***

Turns out, Deran didn’t have to wait too long to see Adrian. He stops by the bar an hour before closing when people are already starting to clear out.

“Hey,” Adrian says, settling into a seat at the bar.

“‘Sup?” Deran asks, sliding him a beer.

“Nothin’ much. Just got back from a thing so I thought I’d swing by and get a drink,” Adrian replies.

Deran takes a second to look at him and fuck, he looks good. His hair has some product in it and he’s wearing a blue button up shirt that bring out his eyes. Deran feels weak in his knees when he meets Adrian’s eyes.

“What thing?” Deran asks.

“A date,” Adrian mumbles.

Deran bites down on his tongue to keep himself from saying something stupid. But I’m right here! He doesn’t have a right to, he gave that up months ago.

“How’d it go?” Deran settles for instead. Jealousy bubbling in his chest.

“Good, I guess.”

“You guess?” Deran asks, stepping away quickly to take a drink order from another customer. He returns and starts filling it as Adrian answers.

“Yeah, I mean he was nice and all but almost too nice,” Adrian says.

“You deserve too nice,” Deran can’t help saying.

Adrian tilts his head and stares at him before saying, “I don’t know. I like my guys a little on the rough side.”

Deran tries to tamp down the blush he can feel crawling up his neck and delivers the drink to the customer waiting off to the side.  
When he gets back, Adrian’s picking at the beer label and staring off into space.

“You okay?” Deran asks, watching him cautiously.

Adrian shakes out of his trance and smiles in confirmation. “You got any plans after you close? Or are you gonna be too tired?”

Deran stomach churns. More than anything he wants to give into Adrian, but he can’t if he wants to keep him safe. Deran doesn’t know what hurts more, rejecting Adrian when he tries to initiate a hookup or the fact that he stopped asking months ago.

Deran shakes his head. “I can’t.”

“You’re seeing someone?” Adrian says more than asks.

“No, I’m not.”

Adrian stares at him and then chuckles humorlessly. “So what? Just not attracted to me anymore?”

Deran flinches. “Of course I am.”

Adrian leans over the bar. “What’s the problem then?”

Deran steps back, creating space between them. He can’t think when Adrian’s that close, he never could. “I just can’t.”

“Why don’t you just admit you’re dating Linc?” Adrian asks. “I see the way you two are together. You clearly care about him. I don’t see what the big deal is.”

Deran groans and tugs at his own hair. “Will you shut the fuck up about Linc? For the thousandth time, we’re not together. I don’t have fucking feelings for him, okay? And while we’re on that, don’t fucking ask my brother about my goddamn life.”

Adrian straightens back up on the stool and chugs the rest of his beer before saying, “You never talk to me. What else was I supposed to do?”

“I’ve been busy,” Deran lies.

“Not busy enough for Linc? And so what? You’re always fucking busy, but you used to make time for me, and I don’t mean just to hook up or whatever. We used to be best friends, you know?”

Deran closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry, alright? It’s not about Linc, it’s-you’re the only one I-it’s not like that.”

Adrian lifts an eyebrow, silently asking Deran to elaborate.

Deran sighs and goes over to Jen.

“Watch the bar for a bit? I’ll be back.” He turns towards Adrian and gestures for him to follow as he makes his way to his room in the back of the bar.

Adrian closes the door behind them and leans against it.

“Linc is just a friend. Yeah, we hook up sometimes, but it’s nothing more than that. You know what you mean to me,” Deran says, frustrated over not knowing the right words to say.

“I don’t,” Adrian says, sounding small.

“You-you’re…” Deran trails off. He’s sick of keeping a distance, he’s sick of all of this bullshit between them. He reaches over and grabs Adrian by the neck and kisses him.

Their lips crash and tangle. Adrian brings his hands to rest in Deran’s hair and Deran keeps a grip on Adrian’s neck and clutches his waist with the other. He moans as Adrian opens his mouth and lets their tongues swipe at each other, battling for space.

Guilt boils in Deran’s stomach so he eventually pulls away. “I can’t, I can’t.”

“Why? Why not?” Adrian asks, hands softly tugging at Deran’s hair. 

Deran gives up on hiding his reasoning with Adrian, he knows he won’t stop until he gets his answers. “I’m not good for you, Adrian. I don’t want you to get caught up in my shit.”

“You don’t have to protect me,” Adrian says, gently running his hands through his hair. “I’ve been in your life, in your family’s lives, since we were kids. I see you guys all the time, if someone wanted to use me to get to you, then they would have already done it by now.”

“It’s different if we’re together. If you were my-my boyfriend, or whatever, you’d be a bigger target, an easier target. And what if my family pisses off the wrong people? The people who would actually be willing to come after people we loved?”

Adrian smiles at that. “People you love, huh?”

Deran rolls his eyes, of course that’s the only part Adrian’s focusing on. “It’s a hypothetical.”

“Sure,” Adrian says. “And I don’t give a shit who you piss off. As long as I get to be with you, I don’t give a fuck.”

“It’s not that easy,” Deran says.

“If that’s the only reason you’re keeping me at a distance, than what about Linc?”

“What about Linc?” Deran growls. He’s sick of talking about the guy.

“Why do you keep him around? If you’re just friends, aren’t you afraid you’re putting his life in danger too?”

“Not really,” Deran says. “He hooks up with other guys as much as with me. No one would mistake us for being together like that.”

“So I’ll be scarce too. I’ll leave right after we have sex and I won’t come over often,” Adrian tries to reason with him.

“No fucking way. We did that before and we’re not doing it again. If I’m with you, I’m not going to hide you.”

“So then let’s try. I don’t care if I get hurt, it’s better than not being with you. Do you not want me enough to risk it?”

“I want you,” Deran reassures him. He pulls Adrian closer to him with a hand on his waist. Adrian moans as their hard dicks crash into each other. “Believe me, I fucking want you.”

“So then what do you say?” Adrian asks, shoving his hands under Deran’s shirt, trailing them over his abs. “Wanna faggot it up in Pottery Barn with me?”

Deran doesn’t flinch at the reminder. He regretted those words as soon as he said them a few years back, but they’ve talked about how he was before and he’s apologized countless times. “You’re going to get hurt.”

“I know you,” Adrian says. “And I know you don’t live life afraid of anything...at least not anymore.”

“I don’t want to lose you,” Deran admits quietly. 

“So what’s the alternative?” Adrian asks. “We stay friends and eventually I fall in love with someone else? I marry some other guy and you just stand by and lose me anyway.”

Deran doesn’t reply and stares at where his hand rests on Adrian’s waist. 

“It’s my choice and I’m choosing you,” Adrian says, cupping Deran’s face with a hand.

Deran reluctantly gives in and closes the space between them. The kiss is soft and sweet, lips lingering for more. “There have to be rules if we’re doing this.”

“Fuck rules,” Adrian says, mouthing at Deran’s neck.

“You have to pay attention to people around you,” Deran says, hands fumbling to unzip Adrian’s jeans. “If you notice stalkers or anyone tailing you, you call me, okay? And if you come over than you have to spend the night. I don’t want you outside that late by yourself.”

Adrian shoves Deran’s shirt off and laughs. “Yeah, that’s why you want me to sleepover.”

“Fuck off,” Deran says, shoving Adrian onto his bed.

Later, when they’re cleaning come off each other, Deran leans over and pours all of his feelings into Adrain’s mouth, kissing him deeply. After he pulls away, he tucks his face into Adrian’s neck and asks with his lips pressed into his skin, “Is there even a Pottery Barn around here?”

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic in this fandom! I'm just sick of waiting for these two to reunite so I wrote my own version of it :)
> 
> [tumblr](http://liveinfurry.tumblr.com/)


End file.
